


Nice Guys Finish Last

by alltimelexi



Category: Bandom, Cobra Starship, Fall Out Boy, Glee, My Chemical Romance, Panic At The Disco, The Academy Is...
Genre: Alternate Universe - Crack, Crossover, F/M, M/M, Not!Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-30
Updated: 2012-07-30
Packaged: 2017-11-11 01:37:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,016
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/473033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alltimelexi/pseuds/alltimelexi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started when I had the idea of Gabe Saporta singing "Nice Guys Finish Last" with the Glee club, and then it turned into this huge long not!fic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nice Guys Finish Last

So it all starts when Gabe Saporta is a junior at William McKinley High School in Lima, Ohio, and he gets bored. See, when Gabe gets bored he has to do something interesting, and then he usually ends up dragging all of his friends into it as well. Rachel, Finn, Kurt, Mercedes, Mike, and all of the other seniors graduated the year before so Glee is looking for more people because right now they only have Blaine, Tina, Artie, Rory, and Sugar and that's not enough to compete anywhere. So they put up a sign-up sheet on the school bulletin board and Gabe sees it when he's looking for something to do. He doesn't want to do football because that's boring, and he doesn't want to be a Cheerio because he's kind of scared of their coach, so really Glee club is kind of the best option at that moment. 

So he went and auditioned and because Mr. Schuester needed people, he's all for it. He doesn't really know much about Gabe except that he has an A in Spanish so he must be a good person. He's not aware that Gabe purposely got the Spanish wrong on his last assignment and got an A on it anyway, so Gabe just kind of snickers whenever he sees him, but he keeps it in check this time. One day Gabe's sitting in Glee club practice, watching Artie rap, and he realizes he's bored again. He remembers what Mr. Shuester said about them needing more members so he goes on a hunt.

The first person he recruits is Pete, who is a senior. He and Pete have been good friends since they were younger, and Pete automatically agrees to it. Gabe has had a crush on Pete for quite awhile, since he was a freshman basically, but Pete's been dating Mikey Way since he was a freshman. Mikey Way is a freshman at college now so Gabe's kind of been amping up the flirting slightly but Pete hasn't noticed yet. Anyway, Pete auditions and Schuester's a little hesitant so Pete's all "Look, I know I'm not the best singer, but hey, if you get me I can guarantee you the best singer in the school."

The seniors discuss it without Schuester and Blaine is a little hesitant to let Pete in because he's heard things about Pete and he's not sure he wants the Glee club to get a bad reputation. But finally they vote to let Pete in, and along with Pete, comes little Patrick Stump. Patrick's a freshman but his voice is fantastic and he doesn't really want to audition but Pete asked him and he used puppy-dog eyes and Patrick can't help himself. He's a sucker for Pete's puppy dog eyes. Gabe gets a little jealous, because Patrick wasn't part of his plan, but admits that Patrick is a pretty good singer.

Gabe recruits more people. He tries to get Travie to join, but Travie refused to spend his senior year doing something he didn't want to just because Gabe asked him politely and offered to pay him in kisses and back rubs. So Gabe recruits William Beckett. William's also a freshman, but he's a pretty cool freshman. He and Gabe hooked up over the summer, once, at a party. They didn't do anything except make out, but Gabe decided that William deserved to hang out with him afterword. He has no clue William's a little bit in love with him, but William agrees to join so Gabe is happy. He makes little happy humming noises when William auditions.

Following William is Jon Walker. Jon's a junior like Gabe, but Gabe doesn't know him very well, so he gets kind of annoyed when Jon brings a harem of little kids with him. Those little kids are Spencer Smith, who is a freshman, Ryan Ross, who is a sophomore, and Brendon Urie, who is a freshman. Spencer refuses to sing, so he's not technically part of the club. He just goes. Ryan and Jon audition together, because they are best friends, and Brendon sings If I Die Young as an audition song and Ryan gets UPSET.

Like, after Brendon auditions and everyone else is cheering Ryan gets up and storms over to him. "You're not allowed to sing that song every again, ever, okay?" he says, jabbing a finger in Brendon's chest.

Brendon shakes his head. "Ryan, it was just a song, I'm not dying," he muttered, trying to calm Ryan down, knowing they were in the middle of the whole entire Glee club but Ryan wasn't having any of that and yanked Brendon into a kiss and everyone's kind of watching them because no one but Jon and Spencer even knew they were together. 

Gabe tried to recruit Nate and Alex and Ryland, but they all refused on the basis that they didn't sing and Gabe let it go after telling them they weren't pretty enough anyway. So then they had enough people to participate, but it's mostly guys. Artie brings this up by mentioning that he feels like he joined Dalton Academy without realizing it and now Gabe's on a mission to recruit girls.  
The first girl he gets is obviously Victoria. She agrees and sits on his lap her first day of Glee, so everyone just kind of assumes they're together. Brendon recruits Greta, and Pete recruits Cassadee and Hayley and feels pretty proud of himself. Ryan brings in a junior named Keltie who claims she can't sing very well but she can dance and her and Tina instantly bond. Ryan looks kind of smug when Keltie proves that she can dance pretty damn well.

So now they have their team and Mr. Schuester's all happy and buzzed because he's married and he has a Glee club that is talented and they seem not to have as much drama as the last generation so everything is hunky dory!

Gabe kind of takes over as commander of Glee club, becoming kind of like Rachel except he's more for picking the songs than singing them himself, because he doesn't mind who sings them although sometimes he picks someone and Mr. Schuester just kind of goes with it because Gabe offered to give him Spanish lessons.

Blaine doesn't like it. Now that Rachel and Kurt are at NYADA he's basically the only one left who likes the big Broadway showtunes numbers, and they're doing more and more Top 40 or indie stuff and Blaine's not getting the lead in anything and it's kind of worrying him. He talks to Kurt about it a little, and Kurt is appalled that they even let them in Glee club but he can't really do anything because he's in New York.

Blaine starts talking to Sebastian about it, because he and Sebastian are friends alright, but Sebastian doesn't really have any ideas either. He tells Blaine to just deal with it, maybe try and make friends with Gabe so that he has more say, but lets him know that he can rant to him at anytime. 

Blaine tries to maybe make friends with Gabe but he really can not stand him. And through all this he's missing Kurt, whose been gone for a long time, and he ends up bonding with Pete instead of Gabe. He and Pete end up having nights where they'll hang out and jam on guitar and bass and complain about how their boyfriends are losers for leaving them behind and talk about Glee and school and everything else.

Rory and Sugar had broken up when Rory went back to Ireland over the summer. When he came back she was already dating Artie, and although it hurt, she and Rory could still be around each other. But when Rory came in one day and started talking about how love-struck he was, Sugar got a little jealous. 

So Rory starts going on and on about how beautiful this girl is, how talented she is, how absolutely wonderful she is and the Glee club is getting kind of annoyed because that's all he'll talk about and so they decide they're going to work together to get Rory and this girl together. 

Blaine takes over and tries to tell Rory how to treat her, what flowers to buy, told her maybe to take her out to a nice restauarant and Rory listens and tries to ask her out but she completely ignored him.

Gabe finds out about what Blaine told Rory and is downright disgusted. He tells Blaine so, and launches into a rant about how if you want girls to like you, you had to have a certain aura. He then leads the New Directions in singing Nice Guys Finish Last [Which, yes, is a Cobra song but sssssh suspend your beliefs]. Sugar, Tina, Vicky, Greta, and Keltie joining him to sing the girl part.  
Rory takes his advice, against Blaine's warnings, and comes back to tell them that he's taking the girl out that week. He finally admits who it is, and it turns out that it's Harmony. Gabe is all "HA!" and Blaine gets kind of upset. 

Blaine gets even more upset and tries to get ahold of Kurt but he doesn't answer the phone. So he calls Sebastian and Sebastian comes down and watches a movie with him while he calms down and they end up cuddling on the couch and Sebastian doesn't even try anything, he just kisses Blaine on the top of the head before he goes home, because Blaine fell asleep against his shoulder.  
And now Blaine's all confused because he thinks he may like Sebastian, but he still loves Kurt even though he hasn't talked to Kurt much. He talks about it to Pete one day and Pete convinces him to stay with Kurt because true love beats out crushes any day, or at least so says Pete Wentz. 

So Glee club goes on as normal and they're preparing for Sectionals, right? William gets to sing a solo, and so does Patrick, and then Gabe goes all loving and generous and lets Tina have a solo, which is more than the old New Directioner's ever did. They end up winning and Blaine gets even more anxious before finally realizing that every one is having fun and finally, finally starts to relax.  
William meets these girls who are in his grade and their names are Demi and Selena and William becomes pretty good friends with them. He doesn't realize Demi is crushing on him so he invites both of them to try out for Glee club and is pretty pumped because they're good and he hugs Demi after she auditions and Gabe notices and gets kind of annoyed because William's supposed to be doting after him, because that's William's job okay? William is his friend, not some little girl's, so he walks over and wraps his arms around William's waist and pulls him back against him. William starts to blush and Demi gets sad because she didn't know William liked Gabe so she kind of just walks away and Gabe is proud of himself and smirks and kisses William's hair and walks away too. So William's now just standing there like "What the hell was that?"

Pete's getting bored right, because he hasn't seen Mikey in FOREVER. So when Mikey comes back to visit he gets all excited and that's ALL he will talk about. Mikey this, Mikey that, and the only one who doesn't get annoyed is Blaine because he understands and he and Pete have this kind of unlikely friendship going on right now. Gabe gets super jealous, because it's easier to pretend Pete isn't with Mikey when the Way kid is away at college and Pete's focusing on other things. So he gets kind of annoyed and refuses to talk to him for awhile. Pete gets upset because one of his best friends isn't talking to him and he's not sure why, so he goes to complain to Patrick.

Patrick doesn't get how Pete doesn't understand that Gabe is totally in love with him, but at the same time refuses to tell him because that's Gabe's bsuiness. So instead he lets Pete cuddle him and eat ice cream and complain and then rant and then talk about Mikey until finally he gets annoyed, smacks him across the head, and stalks away.

So Mikey comes back and he's home for like a week and Pete spends as much time with him as possible. He's all happy and joking around with everyone, but he doesn't talk about Mikey as much now cause he understood it started getting on their nerves, but everyone can tell because Pete will just sit there and smile.

Gabe gets even more annoyed with everything so he starts flirting with Tina, even though she's still dating Mike. She gets kind of in over her head, because Gabe Saporta is flirting with her right now, and she starts to think that he actually likes her. Blaine notices and sits her down and tries to tell her in the most gentle way possible that Gabe is NOT into her and that she would be dumb to dump Mike for him because he'd just end up hurting her. He explains that he knows how it feels to have your boyfriend be far away, but look at Pete and Mikey and how well they've turned out and how happy Pete is and Tina understands and hugs him and starts to ignore Gabe which makes him even MORE upset.

So one day, the day before Mikey's about to go back to college, Pete wants to see him but he can't get ahold of him. So he goes over after school and Mikey's mom lets him in and lets him know that Mikey's in his room so Pete goes and doesn't bother to knock because Mikey's his boyfriend, it's not like he can be doing anything Pete shouldn't see, right? So he walks in and Mikey is making out with FRANK FUCKING IERO on his bed. 

Pete freaks out. He screams at Mikey and may have given him a split lip and goes straight to Gabe's because Patrick won't answer his phone. He cries which freaks Gabe out because he's not good at feelings, but Pete... he cares about Pete so he's not his usual douche bag self. He cuddles with Pete and lets him eat all of his food and strokes his hair and listens to him complain about Mikey and life and how much of a douche bag everyone is.

"I just know that it's because Frank fucking Iero is friends with his brother! He's just like me except Italian instead of Hawaiin and Gerard likes him and he likes Gerard and I want to just scream because it's not my fault Gerard is so fuckin' weird! I tried to like him but he never liked me because he thinks I'm a freaking bad influence or something, I'm not, alright, Mikey was into all of that shit before I even fucking met him and how is it fair?!" Pete asked, pressing his face into Gabe's arm. Gabe just agreed, not wanting to say anything that would make Pete even more upset and honestly he had no idea what to do so he texted Patrick to come save him.

So Patrick shows up at Gabe's and basically tells Pete to snap out of it, because Patrick's known about Mikey cheating on Pete for like, two years, so really Mikey was not a good boyfriend but Pete would never freaking listen to him! 

Pete gets even more upset because Patrick hadn't TOLD him about the lying and the cheating that apparently he had known about for TWO YEARS and freaks out on him. He tells Patrick to leave him the hell alone and Patrick yells back that Pete wouldn't listen to reason so even if he had tried to tell him THIS is what would happen and Patrick just leaves. Pete goes back to cuddling with Gabe and Gabe can't believe what he just witnessed.

So Pete doesn't go to school the next day because he's upset and overdramatic, so Gabe is left to tell everyone what happened. A lot of them are shocked, because Pete was obviously head over heels for Mikey and it was a huge shock that he had been such a douche. 

When Pete comes back the next day he's still really upset. He doesn't talk to anyone, especially not Patrick, and he just sits beside Gabe and cuddles into him. Gabe doesn't know if he's happy because Pete's cuddling with him, or upset that Pete's so sad.

William notices that Pete and Gabe are closer now and figures out that Gabe likes Pete, and instead of getting upset like he wants too, he just agrees to go on a date with Demi. One date turns into two and then three and pretty soon they're going steady and William realizes he does actually like Demi and thinks everything'll turn out okay.

Pete starts cheering up and, although he doesn't make up with Patrick, he does make up with everyone else and starts acting like his old self. Gabe finally relaxes and he and Pete grow even closer. He gets kind of jealous when he walks in and sees Demi sitting on William's lap, but shoves it aside because William is still his pet even if he's been focusing on Pete more and William less lately.  
Somewhere along the line Keltie leaves Glee because she wants to spend more time dancing. Tina gets kind of upset, because she and Keltie had become really good friends. So, to make up for it, Brendon makes Ryan, Spencer, and Jon take dance lessons. Jon is a huge fan, but Ryan and Spencer are not amused. 

Blaine finds out something important and tries to call Kurt to let him know, but Kurt doesn't answer. This really upsets Blaine and he tells Sebastian instead. Sebastian gets all happy for him, and ruffles his hair and tells him how proud of him he is. This is becoming a reoccuring thing and Blaine brings it up to Pete the next time they hang out and Pete kind of goes off on him. He tells him things like "Kurt's probably cheating on you," and "Sebastian is RIGHT THERE and he's been there for you go for it!" and Blaine takes it to heart.

And the next day, he breaks up with Kurt when he answers the phone for the first time in about four days. Kurt freaks. He apologizes and promises he'd never cheat on Blaine he's just been busy with school and trying his hardest to get on Broadway. Blaine stands by his breaking up thing and when he changes his relationship status on Facebook, Sebastian calls him and they talk until three in the morning about basically everything.

The next day Artie and Tina start talking to him about the break-up and Blaine just shrugs and sits next to Pete and Pete nods and tells him he did the right thing. Patrick is scowling in the back row and refuses to talk to anyone, because Pete hasn't talked to him in almost a month and Pete was his only friend really and he's hurting. So Brendon goes and sits by him and tries to make him laugh but Patrick just sighs and turns his head away.

Pete notices this and starts to say something but then Gabe sits beside him on the other side and he shuts his mouth and looks away. 

Regionals come and Patrick REFUSES to sing a solo. Mr. Schuester goes insane and ends up giving a duet to William and Demi and the solo to Brendon because Artie isn't really a solo type and Blaine gets the other solo and they do really good at regionals too, end up beating the Warblers and getting first. 

After Regionals, New Directions hosts a party at Pete's, because it's Pete, and they invite the Warblers because hey, they seem to be dapper and swell guys and more because Pete kind of wants to hook Sebastian and Blaine up. So they're at Pete's and everyone's just relaxed and chilling or dancing and there are a few illegal substances going around but that's alright.

Pete ends up on Gabe's lap and they end up making out at one point. Gabe's happy because he's been wanting this for FOREVER but then Pete pulls away and goes "I can't do this."  
Gabe's confused, because he thought Pete was into it. Pete shook his head and kind of held Gabe's face in his hands. "I can't do this. I tried, because I know you like me, and I tried to like you like that but I can't because I'm kind of in love with someone else."

Gabe's hurt but he's glad Pete's being honest at the same time. "Is it Mikey? Still?" 

Pete shook his head and lowered his voice. "It's Patrick. I think I love Patrick." And Gabe nods, because he knew that deep down, but he didn't really want to believe it. 

"Alright. Well. This was fun then," Gabe muttered and shrugged and Pete smiled at him and he reluctantly smiled back. Pete moves off of his lap, but he's soon replaced by Ryan Ross who is a little drunk and Gabe just laughs and strokes his hair and fights off a jealous Brendon.

Blaine doesn't drink and Sebastian follows his example. The two hang out in Pete's basement kind of ignoring everyone else at the party and eventually Sebastian puts his arm around Blaine and Blaine leans against him. Then Sebastian tilts his head and kisses Blaine. Blaine freaks out for a moment but gives in and realizes that it feels good, that he likes it, and they end up in Pete's bedroom.

Pete walks in on them before things get too saucy but he kind of encourages them instead of stopping them, but now Blaine's embarrassed and Sebastian just smiles and kisses his cheek and tells him it's okay.

So the next day at school Blaine comes in and there is NOT gel in his hair and everyone stares at it and Jon tugs it a little, to make sure it's actually Blaine's, and Blaine swats his hand away. This makes Jon sad, because he was just checking, so Spencer hugs him and leads him into the corner to cheer him up again. Sometimes being Spencer Smith is hard.

Pete found out that morning that Frank and Mikey are officially going out now, but he's not as upset as people thought he would be. When asked about it, he confides that he caught Frank and Mikey's older brother Gerard together, so it's not like they're going to be a happy couple for long. Brendon gets kind of upset that Pete's happy about that, but then Pete just hugs him and Brendon smiles anyway.

So William and Demi have been dating for about three months by this time. Gabe starts hanging out with William again, and Demi gets kind of upset because she walks in on William sitting on Gabe's lap one day, and Gabe's whispering something in William's ear and William is laughing and so she confronts William about it. In front of the entire Glee club.

William calms her down but she's still kind of upset and she doesn't sit with him at lunch and Selena glares at him and William's slightly upset because he didn't even DO anything. Well, okay, he kind of did, but he's MISSED Gabe. Gabe is his FRIEND, alright? And okay, he's still kind of in love with him, but Gabe obviously doesn't like him like that and he DOES like Demi alright?

So William's kind of pouty for awhile. Pete finally starts talking to Patrick again, except Patrick is pissed because Pete ignored him for MONTHS dammit he's not going to go back to being best friends with him now because he's realized what a dick he's been. So Pete decides he's going to WOO him. He brings him flowers to Glee, and he brings him a poem and reads it out loud because really, he was being serious when he said he didn't sing very well. Patrick turns his head, but Pete sees a hint of a smile on his face.

Finally he recruits Gabe, Brendon, and William's help because he likes them and they agreed to help him. He had them follow Patrick around all day and sing love songs, and finally Patrick blushed and stormed up to Pete and demanded to know what was happening. Pete shoved him up against the wall and kissed him.

... Patrick was still kind of upset, actually, but Pete told him he'd give him more kisses if he stopped being angry and date him. Patrick was not as into PDA as Pete had hoped, so instead of making out in public or anything, Patrick held his hand during Glee club and smiled at him every so often. Pete figured that was just as good.

So, Nationals is coming up and so is graduation. Blaine and Tina and Artie and Pete are all graduating and Patrick does NOT want Pete to leave him now that he just got him. Tina is going to the same college as Mike, and the last time he was in town he proposed to her and she agreed. They're waiting until after college, but Tina's been giddy. 

Rory is still dating Harmony but Artie and Sugar broke up, and Sugar keeps trying to get back with Rory. Blaine officially changes his Facebook status to In A Relationship with Sebastian and Kurt calls him up and YELLS.

Blaine comes to school sad the next day, because Kurt accused him of a lot of awful things like cheating and he's hurt that Kurt would EVER think that of him. So New Directions teams together and sings him a song to cheer him up. The day before they leave for nationals, Demi dumps William. 

The reason she gave him was that she couldn't stand being second place to Gabe all the time, and he tried to tell her that she WASN'T, but he left un-victorious. Nationals this year is in Chicago, and Jon used to live there, so he takes them on a tour and Gabe keeps his arm around William the entire time.

When they go back to the hotel, William and Gabe and Artie are roommates. William and Gabe offer to share one bed and let Artie have the other one, and Artie doesn't argue because why would he argue with that set up? So William is lying in bed and Artie's asleep and Gabe is taking a shower, and he's just thinking.

He can't believe it, really, because it's been a whole year and he would never have believed he'd have the kind of friends he's ended up with. Gabe comes out of the bathroom and he's just wearing sweat pants and his hair is still kind of damp and he crawls in bed beside William and William snuggles up next to him.

"Hey, Bilvy, I figured you'd be asleep," Gabe muttered, pressing his face into William's hair. 

William shook his head and smiled at him in the dark. "No, I had to wait for you didn't I?"

Gabe laughed and kissed his forehead. "Thank you, baby," he muttered. "You're my favorite, Bilvy."

William smiled wider. "You're my favorite too, Gabanti."

"I'm sorry Demi dumped you," Gabe muttered.

"It's not you're fault. Don't be," William said, snuggling closer.

"Good, because I'm not. If I kissed you right now, would you get upset?" Gabe asked, shifting so he could look down at William. 

William widened his eyes and shook his head. Gabe leaned down and kissed him. It was a simple kiss, not really anything deep either, but it was sweet and William rested his head on Gabe's chest afterword and they fell asleep like that.

At Nationals, Brendon and William and Patrick each had a solo in one song, Blaine and Tina got a duet, and Mr. Schuester let Gabe sing a song with Victoria and Selena. They didn't place first, but they did place second and they went back pretty damn pleased with themselves.

Gabe and William sat by each other on the plane back and William rested his head on Gabe's shoulder, and Gabe kissed his hair. When they got off the plane they were holding hands. Demi asked about it, and William admitted that he thought they might be together.

Demi was pretty upset, because really, she and William had been dating for FOUR MONTHS and had been broken up for THREE DAYS and he was already with GABE FREAKING SAPORTA?  
At graduation, Sebastian was there to support Blaine, and Mike came down to watch Tina. Patrick clung to Pete the whole time, even though Pete was going to be in the same town, and William and Gabe sat beside each other, holding hands. The rest of the Glee club is right beside them, supporting their seniors. Jon invites them over for a graduation party because none of the actual graduating members remembered that, and he feeds them cookies and shows them all his cats. Sometimes he shows them to people twice. He showed them to Selena four times, but she didn't mind because they were cute.

Gabe sat there with his arm around William as he watched Pete try and feed Patrick grapes and Blaine cuddling with Sebastian and Spencer taking a cat out of Jon's arms and gently telling him he had a problem. Rory and Harmony were dancing and Ryan was showing off the dance moves he learned with Brendon. 

And he realized that joining Glee was actually a really smart decision, because he had made some really good friends and also he was dating Bilvy and everyone was happy. So he smiled and buried his face in William's hair and realized he may actually be the smartest guy on Earth.


End file.
